Learning to be flexible is essential in creating a successful life with someone on the autism spectrum. If we are too rigid, demanding and insistent on having things a certain way, it will really complicate our life and create stress for everyone. It is very likely that our loved one on the spectrum is unable to be flexible. This is not an attitude or willingness problem, it is a function of the neurology of autism. In other words, it’s not that they WON’T be flexible, it’s more like they CAN’T be flexible.
Flexibility is something we all need to cultivate, but if you love someone with autism, it is a survival strategy. It’s part of accommodating the real and legitimate challenges that those with autism face. I do it so often that sometimes I find myself saying “…flexible is my middle name.”